This morning in the shower, I had a crazy revelation. After all, isn’t that where all the best ideas are created? I realized that my successfully failed Etsy business from two years ago, has been holding me back from upleveling in my current businesses. If you don’t know, here’s a little backstory:
I had a semi-successful Etsy business making children’s clothing. I was great at it. People loved my stuff. I had shipped my products to almost every state in the country and the UK. I put a lot of time and effort into every item I made to ensure quality and satisfaction. I was even in a craft market at the mall. It was awesome, or should have been anyway. The more successful and busier I got, the more depressed and drained I became. Of course a severe postpartum depression diagnosis didn’t help that.
Anyway, I had a chance to have a huge business styling little kids in my own creations, but I failed. I am a failure. I let the business go. I gave up. I didn’t have the motivation or energy to keep creating. I kept making excuses for why I wasn’t restocking or filling up my wall with clothing at the mall. I canceled orders, including from some friends. I had to tell my sister-in-law that the ornament orders she took to raise money for the nonprofit she worked at weren’t going to get done. I let family, friends, customers, my husband, and myself all down miserably.
My beautiful desk has been covered with all my sewing machines and supplies for the last year and half. I haven’t sewn in a year and half! I’ve been avoiding going downstairs because every time I saw my desk it reminded me that I failed and let down so many people. This has been the block holding me back from success in my new business ventures and I didn’t know it until today! My husband thought I was just being lazy and not wanting to do laundry or clean my crap. Nope, it was just a very painful reminder. The guilt, sadness, shame, and embarrassment have consumed me every time I glanced at that side of the basement. When my daughter wears her famous Donut Dress and people comment, I get so awkward and silent because yes, I made it, but I’m not making them anymore because I hate sewing now!
Not anymore though. I listed my machines for sale, even though I have been telling family I might sew again. I was trying to convince myself, and everyone else, that I would because why wouldn’t I? I, at one time, loved sewing. Now it just brings up painful feelings of failure, so I’m doing away with it all. My desk is almost cleaned off and I’m letting that part of me go. It’s in the past and I’ve learned and grown from that business.
My failed business does not define me. I am a bad-ass woman, wife, and mother! I am not a failure. The Etsy business just wasn’t for me. It was a lesson for me in my life and it took me almost two years to see that. I’ve felt for a long time that there was a missing piece in my business. Something I’m just not including and that’s why it’s not taking off. Well, the missing piece was me all along. I’ve been holding myself back. My failed business was holding me back. I’m flipping the switch. Changing the story. It failed, but I came out a winner.
I now LOVE where my business is going! I’m impacting so many people and it’s one of the best feelings in the world. So, I turn to you and ask, what’s holding you back? What is preventing you from upleveling in your business and reaching that next income level? This could take some time to figure out, but you will be so glad you did. Try meditating and journaling on it. It will come to you when you least expect it, but when you’re truly ready and then you’ll soar!
If you’re not hitting the goals that you’d like to see in your business, reach out to me and lets chat! Perhaps together we can figure out that missing piece.
One last thing, I want to send out a mass apology, from deep in my heart. I am sorry to anyone I let down - close friends, family, and especially my husband. So much money was spent on a dream and was really just the stepping stone to my true passion. I’m sorry Dave, but thank you so much for always having my back and supporting me. I never wanted to upset anyone. I was struggling, conflicted, and depressed. I know you all understand, but my heart need to let it out one last time.