With “Mindset Monday” being tomorrow, I thought this would be a fitting blog post. If you’re in my Facebook Group, “Rise Up + Love Yourself”, or follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I was pretty MIA last week. I posted on “Mindset Monday” of last week and then had to step away from work and social media for the remainder of the week. Life was beginning to feel like it was all crashing down on me in all areas. It sucked. My husband and I realized some things weren’t going so well financially, we started arguing a lot, and to top it off, the kids were stressing me out big time and my four year old was not listening to me at all. I needed a break. We needed a break. Not a break away from each other, but just sort of a break from the outside world. We needed to sit down and discuss how we were going to fix each of these issues.
Sometimes in life you need to take a step back from “life” and focus deep on the real issue. We figured out what we’re going to do and then surrendered. Surrendered to God and the Universe because after doing our part, that’s whose hands our situations are in next. During this time, I started thinking about our relationship. "Why were we suddenly arguing all the time? What changed?" Once I was able to think about it, I began to realize that there is so much about him that I don’t even know. We have been together almost eight years and I feel like we know each other better than anyone else in this world, however, there were still a lot of unanswered questions. "What is the most memorable vacation he ever took as a kid? What was his absolute favorite movie before he was a teenager? What show did he make sure to never miss?" These and so many more started flooding my conscious. Then I channeled my inner Gabby Bernstein and remembered Chapter four in her new book, Judgement Detox: “See for the First Time”.
I wanted to see my husband again for the first time. I wanted to learn so much more about him. "What if we could just sit and chat like we were on a first date again?" That’s just what we started to do, and it was amazing! We learned things about each other that we didn’t even know we wanted to learn. We saw each other again for the first time and realized why we so quickly fell in love with each other almost eight years ago. I truly feel like we fell in love all over again! To end the week with a bang, my husband took me out Friday night for a post-valentine’s day date. Because money is tight, he wasn’t very confident in his surprise plans. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and based on his lack of confidenice, I unfortunately wasn't expecting much. I knew we were headed off to some expensive restaurant where we'd start with a dozen oysters; I’m not that kind of girl anyway. I don’t need lavish gifts and to be wined and dined. I don’t need any gifts at all. I’m just happy to be with the love of my life.
My husband ended up taking me to my favorite tea shop about thirty minutes from us. He had called ahead and had a pot of my favorite tea, almond cookie, already steeping and two warm gluten and dairy free cupcakes waiting for our arrival. It was the best, most thoughtful date I’ve ever been on. Sometimes money just complicates things. I’ve never been one to be all focused on money and expensive restaurants and things. I was brought up with the belief that all that matters is the company you’re with. I still find that true today.
In Judgement Detox, Gabby Bernstein writes, “The experience of seeing someone for the first time is one of deep relief. You free the person from the stories you’ve placed upon him or her and you free yourself from the bondage of attack. You’ll feel relieved because you’ll be returning to your truth. When you see someone you’ve judged through the light of love rather than the lens of darkness, you will experience a miracle: You shift from body identification to spirit identification. When you recognize someone solely as a body - a physical being - you can place your fear-based stories onto them. You project onto them and you expect them to behave a certain way. But when you release those projections and have the experience of seeing them as spirit, all those stories disappear. If even for an instant you let down your guard and choose to see through the lens of love rather than fear, you will be one step closer to freedom. That instant is enough to activate energetic momentum that will greatly speed up your healing.”
Our date was absolutely perfect and exactly what I needed at the exact right time. I don’t know if my husband feels the same way, but I think so. I think he has also seen where things went awry and that we’re now getting back to our true selves and why we got married in the first place. I can feel his energy and even typing this right now, while he is at work, I can feel his positive energy and know that he is having a great day filled with less stress and more love than in recent weeks and months.
As I said above, sometimes we need to take a step back from the life that’s happening and focus on within; within ourselves, within our relationships, and within our own lives. It is way too easy to get caught up in everyone else’s lives on Instagram, Facebook and in the news, that our own lives and relationships suffer and before we know it everything is a mess and we have no clue how we got there. This past week of reflection didn’t “fix” everything, but I can say that things are back on the right track and everything is going to be OK. We have each other, we have two beautiful healthy kids, and we each have our soul’s purpose that keeps us going and motivated. We may be adults, but we still have big dreams. We are all never too old to accomplish them and my husband and I are not going to stop until we do. When that day comes, and it will, we will both be by each other's’ side, hand in hand, reaching those dreams.
I wish you all a blessed week and a positive “Mindset Monday”!
Love + Light,